So, it's gone too far and I don't really know what to do about it. I always swore to myself, even from a young age, that I wouldn't fall in love because it was silly, and that I would never let someone get the better of me, and if I ever did - it would be like how it was in the fairy tales.
And now I still wish I was that little girl who had simple thoughts and little beliefs. I never knew one person could consume so much of your time, so much space in your mind, your heart, and your thoughts.
The more that my independent-self trys to fight it off, the harder it becomes because i know I'm fighting a losing battle. I know it will never be the same, but yet I know it can get better..if it ever will, I'm not sure.
I've never given myself up to someone like that in my entire life, and for the first time I've actually felt vulnerable, something I didn't ever want to feel..I didn't think I could feel so many emotions at the same time. I've told things I hadn't told anyone else before, I completely let him in. But there are things I'll never tell him, like how much he made me cry that day. Or how I think my life will be in 5 years, or why I know I'm not like everyone else, or that I don't remember how I felt before I fell in love.
I've also came to realise that I am pretty strong, I believe the things I've overcome (even though they might not seem that big to other people) were tests, and were set to see how I could cope. Although being able to survive it, doesn't mean that it was ever okay.
I've realized so much more about myself by being in difficult situations, its given me a chance to understand what my priorities are, rather than going about life having everything go your way and not having to deal with any consequences. It gives you a chance to feel, a chance to experience all these emotions..good or bad.

I would hate to be in a situation where the thing that hurts more than losing you..is knowing that you're not fighting to keep me.